How on earth did you learn to use a computer?
AHAHAHA! Totally missed the boat, huh? You are so smart, S-M-R-T!
I hope you do a bit more research next time before you fly off the handle.
Best of luck with burning and creating your lynch mob for this fictious woman.
Wow, you're obtuse! But I won't criticize you; I'll pray for you.
You are a dumbfuck.
And in your banner, is the sentence "We will end abortion through our unity and the Monthly Call for Life" a reference to a period? Serisouly, I didn't not know that the shedding of my unterine lining was actually a pro-life rally. I'll let my right-wing fallopian tubes have it later.
I'm pro life, but sweet Jesus you're an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?
Bra. Vo.
I believe L. Ron Hubbard could use a mindless zealot like yourself.
And some irony from one of his other posts:
So why do many liberals believe that it's okay to kill someone who kills animals, believes in war to challenge evil or digs up a forest for lumber. The answer of course is that we expect liberals to talk and act like lunatics.
Oops... forgot to add the 2nd part:
Blogmaster is right. Liberals always talk like lunatics. They should talk like his colleague, Rev. Spitz:
I think it is morally jusified to kill a babykilling abortionist if that is the only way to stop him/her from murdering more innocent babies. I know you don't agree...
Really...
Wow.
Oh. My. God. I'm saving this as a PDF to use as an example that someone actually beleived a story from the Onion. Nobody will believe me otherwise.
HAH! I laugh at you! Pathetic excuse for a caring human being. I didn't think it was possible, but you make the fascists you agree with look bad! May the great and glorious FSM have mercy on you and allow you to have a brain in the next life!
Hey Asshat.. Your refridgerator is running. C'mon.. Who read the article to you?
And I say that as a pro-lifer myself.
I'm tempted to snark about your qualifications to be an elevator operator, but I'll just go away.
Snickering.
M'Gawd. Stupidity on such a vast scale amazing, and the fact that it took you still don't get it seven years after this article was written simply boggles the mind.
But Pete, the Onion article is from 1999. Don't you think you should try to track her down and see if her views have changed in the last seven years? That should be easy to do, except for how she's completely imaginary.
And shouldn't you be concerned by more recent events also reported in that paper of record, like this shocking development?
You idiot. Have fun with your crusade, jackass.
Nice. The Onion is a SATIRE paper, you stupid ass. You people are just dumbing down the gene pool aren't you?
Cheerio!
Fume all you want, abortion is still legal and most likely always will be, at least in your lifetime.
Gosh, I'm sorry you got confused. It must be kind of embarrassing. I thought maybe you were doing a Colbert-style parody, but... uh, the other stuff in your blog suggests to me that that is not the case.
Pwned.
Excellent. I think you should devote all of your energies to tracking down Miss Weber and changing her mind about abortion. After all, if you can change her mind, you can change anybody's.
And don't listen to all these commenters telling you that the Onion is satire. They don't know what they're talking about. You'll show them.
Hee! Thanks for the giggle. Great satire, A+.
...wait, you were serious? I... hot damn!
it's good to see that for every complete jackass out there who thinks he can run our country there are a hundred people ready to laugh their asses off at him. and pete.. you are a jackass.
now if we were just more vocal everywhere. somehow these guys get away with labeling liberals as hippies and conspiracy theorists (and as people who would actually write this complete joke article), when day after day this corrupt administration proves us more right. don't let them fit our country into their tunnel vision. call them out.
((OH P.S... did anyone think that maybe pete knew this article to be a joke, but used it to pursuade other like-minded tunnel-visionists to sway in his direction?? i wouldn't put it past him.))
Ladies and Gentlemen... we now have a new tide mark for the shallow end of the gene pool.
The Onion article did make a good point, though. If contraception was covered by HMOs, there would be fewer pregnancies. Plus, because of you anti-choice people, pharmacists are refusing to fill perfectly legal birth control prescriptions. You anti-choice people brought on the abortions yourselves. Plus, it's clear you anti-choice people don't like sex unless its only in marriage. Talk about stupid and misguided.
)
I havent laughed so much in ages. I feel lucky to have seen this, if I made a gaffe like this I'd have destroyed all evidence ASAP. But then again I took "Recognising Humour 101" and "Basic Identification of Jokes" so I knew what I was getting into.
Honkknob! You're an idiot.
If your goal was to suck all the credibility out of your "movement," you've succeeded. Congratulations, you've made all pro-lifers look like a bunch of people who can't CHECK THEIR SOURCES.
Dude, seriously, you need to get news from a more reputable source. Try http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/
And when Bat Boy performed the abortion, he found Osama bin Laden hiding just beyond the under-developed fetus (dialysis machine and all.)
AWESOME. It's only Monday, and you just made my week!
I think you meant "Blogging without conscience."
Genius, "The Onion" is satire. You know, stuff made up to poke fun and make a point?
Dig out your blogging license; you're suspended until you grow some brain.
You are a fucking idiot. THE ONIION IS A SATIRICAL PUBLICATION. Jesus fucking CHRIST!!! *bangs head against wall*
Why did you abort your brain?
You tell 'em Pete!
Don't listen to these liberal pinko shmucks telling you that this is some sort of 'satire'. You've done a thorough and impressive job of debunking this Miss Weber bitch and those communist babykilling faggots know they don't have one single idea or argument that can stand up to your rigorous intellectual scrutiny. Their only hope now is to whine 'But we were only joking' like the crybabies they are and try to make you look like some sort of dumbass. Pay no attention! Real Americans can spot the truth a mile away, you mark my words.
These unChristian fucks pulled the same shit on us when we used an Onion article to expose Harry Potter for the Satanist cult it was. One minute we had a grassroots campaign bandwagon going, the next minute this 'satire' tag gets laid on it, and every punk-ass motherfucker on the internet starts laughing at us. It took us MONTHS to live that shit down.
Well I say enough! To hell with this liberal satire bullcrap. I'm armed, I'm a christian and I'm not afraid to defend my way of life with extreme prejudice! The next time one of you babykilling terrorist faggots wants to debase MY goddamn country and MY goddamn religion with this so-called "satire" shit, I'm going to grab the first motherfucking liberal abortionist I come across and ram my bible and a copy of the Bill of Rights up the bastard's ass. See how you'd like THAT, you satirical internet motherfuckers!
Keep up the good work, my friend.
Eye yam sofa king, we todd did.
Practice saying it out loud.
I bet this is not how you wanted your 15msecs of fame. Well, congratulation: you got it whether you like it or not.
For the record, I don't think you are necessarily stupid. I do think you might be a little too credulous, however. You might want to put together some arguments based on facts -- you ain't gonna convince many people if you keep shooting from the hip like this.
Maybe a review of "Modes of Reasoning"?
Better luck next time!
This is utterly hysterical, your falling for an obvious satire/parody from a publication that's devoted to nothing other than parody. Your piece is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
Next, you can pray for a brain. I'm sure it will be just as effective.
Don't listen to these naysayers. They are trying to throw you off the scent. The godless ones have let too much of themselves show and you called them on it. Kudos to you.
-kyle
Holy crap.
Although I suppose if you can believe a carpenter walked out of a cave after three days of somatic death, there's nothing to prevent you from believing that someone would be so excited about her abortion that she'd throw a party.
I suppose you thought Jonathan Swift was serious, too.
lmao.
...I...I...I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks for putting your lack of wisdom on display for all to share
oh dear sweet raptor jesus. i would say you've made me lose all faith in humanity, but the 70+ comments of "you're a fucking moron" slightly redeems it. Keep up the good work! Maybe you should start citing General J.C. Christian or Fafblog! Or Jon Swift! They're really reputable sources.
No way, man. The Onion is a hard-hitting investigative news site. Look, they've already found the author of this blog.
While I am uncertain that you have a central nervous system of sufficient complexity to register high-level emotions such as embarrassment or shame, I still must implore you: please, please, please... no matter how many people on this comment thread cast doubt on your mental capacities or call you "asshat" it is imperitive that you never delete this entry. You have accidentally written the funniest thing in history.
Johnathan Swift and Voltaire working together for a hundred years could not surpass you.
This must be preserved for posterity.
Holy shit... I can't stop laughing... at you.
But really, the Onion has a good point in showing us that this is really how some radical pro-life activists really see pro-choice people. I'm triyng to be nice here... but wow, you are a fucking idiot. How long has The Onion been doing satire?... since 1988. Wow, you're eagerness to condem this woman has completely blinded you from... all reason. Here's a tip, next time you have something to write... don't.
But seriously... that was a great laugh.
wow, that was a great laugh.
two words: you dumbfuck
Dumbest.
Blogger.
Ever.
(P.S. Thank Ba'al that Firefox makes it easy to download and save the magic. It would break my heart to think something so, um, special might ever be lost.)
Has someone archived this yet?
I've saved it but lack a place to post.
Are you nuts are just that thick witted? Using "The Onion" as source material?
Or you have to be joking.
Which one is it?
And if you are serious, you are a prime example as to why pro-choice people cannot take you seriously.
By the way, someone should correct your terminology. Let it be me.
Clearly you have problems understanding the world in general (satire, humor, etc.) But let's get at least ONE thing straight: nobody -- yes, that's NOBODY (ok, except maybe Hitler) -- is "pro-abortion."
So here's what you need to do: get it through your humorless head and hate-mongering heart that reducing the number of abortions that occur is a goal that BOTH sides of the debate have. Calling the people you purport to "pray" for "pro-abortionusts" only further publicly displays the crass ignorance that your clueless "Onion" has already amply demonstrated.
I always knew the day would come when blogs were so easy to make that retards would start publishing.
― Robert Heinlein, in The Notebooks of Lazarus Long
Did you catch this one? "Tenth Circle Added to Rapidly Growing Hell"
I can give the guy a break for somehow knowing that The Onion isn't satire, but what I can't get past is how ANYONE could read that article and think it was the real thing.
Good grief... are there people out there so ignorant and clueless that they think those quotes could possibly be real?
You and people like you are the reason that your cause is forever doomed.
I just wanted to get on the bandwagon when I say AHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh man, what a MAROON!
You are EXACTLY the reason why there should be more abortions - or more accurately, better birth control in the first place so no one would feel they *had* to have an abortion.
You should know that you can NEVER, EVER pass judgement on others. If I want to have an abortion, that's MY CHOICE. You can pray for me if you like, but forcing me to do something against my will makes you both judge and jury -- and IS A SIN.
Why can't religious folks keep their own religion straight?
KILLING IS WRONG, RIGHT?
But most zealots in this country support the war.
How is killing an innocent, unarmed Iraqi ANY different than killing an innocent, unarmed baby?
You are a sinner. And people like you make me sick.
Stay classy!
You have made it to the big time! Well Done! Check your site meter readings out for this week, too. You've hit a winner. (Too bad about the satire angle unless you really were being tricky and trying to turn tables on people with reverse-satire... but are you that clever?) Naahhh.
(signed) marc
Thanks to Joreth for pointing this little bit of idiocy out to me
I snatched the site & have it mirroed in case the asshat author removes it
As a Pastafarian and believer in the TRUTH His Noodleness has shared with all those willing to listen, I would like you to know that I will pray for you to the one true Flying Spaghetti Monster. Because of your ignorance and outright stupidity, I can't imagine how someone like you will ever get to Heaven. It's obvious you hate women. This is not the path to the Beer Volcano. You had better work on getting that GED and start applying some critical thinking skills. The FSM does not reward stupidity and the oppression of women.
Pete, I have the story that should make your next blog entry. It's ABSOLUTE PROOF God answers prayers!
http://www.theonion.com/content/...tent/node/
28812
Hope you're not disappointed.
I laughed so hard I aborted my foetus. Thanks for nothing, babykiller.
Can you believe that?
I say you prove to them that onions ARE real. Cut an onion in half and rub the two halves in your eyes.
That'll show them.
.
you are fucking dumb
The fact that you can vote scares the shit out of me. That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
Are you a fucking ass?
Watch out! Water is really trying to take over the world!
It's written! It MUST be true.
And in case you didn't get that, I was implying that you are a fucking idiot.
So your mom fucked her brother and made a dumb fuck like you, and you are still against abortion??
I know Onion articles (such as the one that stated that J.K. Rowling really does advocate witchcraft with the HP novels) have snagged frothing-at-the-mouth right-wing fundie lunatics before, but has a blatant satire rag ever snagged left-leaning media?
/golfclap
Hilarious.. absolutely hilarious!
Thanks for sharing.
Jason
That was a most heartfelt, and sensitive article about the sanctity of life. Shame on you dirty commie creep pinko subversive bastards, I hope you all go to hell and die. You will see the error your ways when Jesus comes down to annoint GW Bush for a 3rd term.
-Amen
First satire and now sarcasme.
I really hope you reproduce. In a few years time, my children might need a laugh as good as this one. The ones I don't throw into the shredder on a whim, that is.
That's just dumb with a capital D - U - M - B.
It's scary that this is the intelligence of the pro-lifers.
For fvck's sake, are you totally retarded? o_O
My boyfriend fingered my pussy last night, and I became pregnant. Abortion is the best. The Onion is not a news source.
I have done my duty by passing this idiodicy along on my blogs, and have used ScrapBook extension to capture this stupidty for prosperity.
Should you *ever* run for public office, your detractors will have this article to prove you can't tell fact from fiction, and go around singing "If I Only Had A Brain".
animal porn u fuckers animal porn hot sweaty nutsack.. bbbbbaaaalallllllssss
Somebody aborted the wrong part of the gene pool.
Congrats, this page is now cached by Google and effectively a permanent fixture on the Internet landscape!
This is why red states* shouldn't be allowed on the Internet.
* There's technically no such thing as a red state. There are just great red wastelands between the nice pockets of civilization scattered around the country.
Two Words - Fucking Moron!
christ almighty...too bad no one aborted this douchebag before he could inflict his idiocy on the internet
All right, all right, I think he's gotten the point. The baying hordes of right wingers should be arriving in their characteristically behind the curve fashion any minute now. Let's skidoo!
But then that is typical of fanatics all over the world. Hmm. Maybe it is time to look within the borders of the US to quelch fundamentalists passing "Fatwas" (religious judgements) on other people?
Pete, you have achieved something few bloggers do - you have found a HUGE audience to read your publications. Your responsibility is clearly to continue the dialogue that you have initiated.
Please, enlighten us further ! I'd love to know where else you're getting inspiration from.
Bwahahaha, this just show yet again how silly the so called "pro-life" movement is. Bunch of self righteous propagandists.
Not only have you reinforced my belief in the pro-choice movement, you have also firmed up my stance on euthanasia. You've certainly got an incurable condition that qualifies*.
* Satire, sarcasm or sinful suggestion? I'll let you decide.
This is the funniest god damned thing I've ever seen in my life.
God couldn't even get this funny. Oh my God! This is actually funny because of God!
HAHAHA!!
all your abortion are belong to us.
and you still think you should be allowed to vote?
NEDM
AHA. The Onion is FAKE.
Nice, you are probably the same kind of person that is a supporter of the NRA or at least have a gun at home... need I point out the hypocrisy? It's kinda funny that almost everybody with an I.Q. above 80 could make up that the article was a hoax...
You are the reason many people probably go pro-abortion. Better abort than give birth to a kid who goes thru life without a clue like u!
Best of luck taking your next breath buddy!
If you don't have the mental capacity to tell the difference between satire and factual articles, your ability to reason is in serious question and any points you make won't have credibility.
What's more, The Onion is famous (and infamous) as a humor publication. The fact that you don't know this makes your appear unsophisticated at the least and incapable of doing proper research at most. The fact that you insist the article is real only further undermines your credibility and your cause.
Miss Weber, you have killed your child, which you admit is a baby/human being, intentionally.
No Babies were harmed in the making of this Onion Article. However, I'm sure many bottles of boos will be consumed by the staff at the Onion, in celebration, of the first duffus that took an article seriously. seriously. However, a current article declaring that " 18 year old miraculously finds soulmate in hometown " has probally happened.
It makes me happy to see so many people justly attack this bullshit.
Cheers!
Jesus wept.
So the Union is not real? It was all a joke? Why didn't they tell me?
Dear author,
You are not qualified to hold a strong opinion about something.
Regards,
The world
So that's how you get your facts, right ? Time for serious thinking on your part. You should view this as an opportunity.
"Mess Weber summed up her article with..."
There is no Weber. Capish?
I can only imagine that someday you're going to forget to breathe.
Would you be any more annoying if you actually had a brain?
Wow, I can't believe someone can really be this conceited. You are an ignorant fuckwit who should be tied to a wheelchair and shoved off the edge of a cliff with a cactus up his ass.
religious, conservative pro-lifers... wanna keep the baby... don't want to support it! nice!
HAHAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Asshat.
I thought everyone in the entire freaking world knew that The Onion wasn't a real news source.
Just goes to show that the extreme right wingers will believe any bullshit.
YOUR PARENTS TAUGHT YOU SEX IS NOT GOOD, SO NOW YOU'VE GONE MENTALLY RETARDED, TAKING THE ONION FOR SERIOUS.
GET A LIFE! QUIT YOUR CHURCH AND SAY "HELLO, WORLD!" COME TO MANHATTAN AND BECOME A SEX WORKER! OR GO TO IRAQ! EITHER WAY *QUIT BLOGGING!*
Thank you and keep up the good work. Please write to me.
Tommy
Someone didn't realize that The Onion is a joke (i.e. its fake, idiot). Well, enjoy having the world laugh at you I guess.
This is *exactly* the kind of inadvertant humour I'd expect from a pro-lifer.
Oh, BTW, you've been reddit:
http://reddit.com/info/9ry2/comments
Note that this (http://marchtogether.blogspot.com/2006/07/
satire.html) only makes us laugh harder at you
Thanks for the laugh.
Are you serious? You didnt really think? Did you... oh my word
Jesus fucking christ! you fucking retard.
Hail Xenu! *cough*
hahahahahaahahahahahahhaahaaaaaa...
lol
hahahahahahahhahahaaa..
classic. absolutely classic.
And you say abortion isn't fun ?
Interesting..
It is you all that fail to see the point.
Pete has allowed you all to show yourselves as the mindless lemmings you are.
If Pete had made an error in repaeting satire as though it were fact, he would have deleted this entire thread.
Rather he allowed all of you to ramble on like a bunch of steer on a rampage without a clear thought of your direction or intent.
Pete has recognized good satire and simply made it available for discussion.
Just as the Onion uses satire and humor to make their opinion know, Pete is using satire and humor.
The truth is Pete, all good satire is grounded in some fact and that is why you knew you get the response you did.
Good job Pete
You got to be kidding me. Are you, no wait, obviously you are that stupid. Pull your head out of as and get some oxygen in your brain.
you = the dumb
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA what a douchebag!
Maybe you should A) Actually do some research before writing an article B) Quit throwing stones at everyone who has a different opinion from you or C) All of the above.
I'll pray for you, too.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Anyone who is too blind to spot that the onion is satire is OBVIOUSLY to blind to have a measured opinion on important matters like abortion.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH
*ahem*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(the idiot...)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
..... Why do you even exist?
*points, laughs*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You want to be pro-life? Kill yourself! No, seriously, eat a bullet. You're too stupid for the genepool. You're a danger to humanity. Really. Darwinize yourself already. Just do it. It's for the greater good of humanity. This would be the greatest pro-life act you can ever take. Just do it.
Umm, as people have told you already, the Onion is a satirical magazine. One does not take it seriously. Rather, it parodies the excesses of political discourse on both the right and the left (though admittedly more of the former). Please tell me that your blog is an answering humor piece, because if you took the original Onion piece seriously it betrays a serious lack of research and understanding.
Enjoy your 15 minutes of stupidi... err "fame" on digg:
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/
Sat...officially_dead
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Ok, here's the thing: You are wrong for citing an Onion article. I'm pretty sure you get that at this point. I don't agree with your opinions in general either, not a single one I'd imagine.
What matters is that the commenters are acting like children. It's not going to make us look better to wander around calling everyone on the right a moron, even if we happen to believe it. They call us godless heathens, we call them right wing zealots and nothing gets done.
Don't get me wrong, engaging in some sort of thoughful debate would be utterly pointless with you because, well, you'd get emotionally involved and not hear a word anyone else said and wind up just screaming.
I'm just saying, 100 people calling you a moron or derivative thereof isn't really going to help the matter.
I mean, come on. Fish. Barrel.
thanks Pete! you made my day.
Moral of the story? Don't do it--think of the children!
Get a sense of humor, dumbass.
people like you become the leaders of fascist countries.
OMG SAVE TEH UNWANTED BABIES
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*gasp*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Nice one! You don't look at all stupid.
If it's any consolation lefties get taken, too.
On the article itself, this isn't one of their better satires. Too meanspirited and crude in its approach to the abortion debate. Not funny at all.
I'm pro-life and even *I* think you're an idiot.
What a tard. I love that you took this seriously. It just shows your side to be the reactionary, humorless asses we all know you to be.
(Also a pastafarian here - can I get a RAmen from the congregation?)
Hilarious. This crap is now spreading through the 'internets' like wildfire.
You've made an ass of yourself, and I'd wager that at least a 100,000 people are aware of it already. Beautiful.
You fundamentalist Christianists are so ignorant, bitter and humourless you actually thought someone would say they were 'psyched' for an abortion. How fucking stupid can you be?
Oh my, I haven't laughed so loud since... well, I can't remember.
Pete, is it?
First, let me just say that you really are a gullable fool for believing the Onion.
Second, (assuming that Pete = male) what right do you have to say anything bad about abortion? You have a penis, not a uterus. When you are brutally raped someday and have to carry that monster's abomination around inside of you for 9 months, then we will talk about how abortion is the devil.
Please do me a favor and shut up.
I'm going to have to get pregnant so I can have an abortion in honor of this insane blog piece. Then I'll get my nails done and go shopping.
And you know, all this traffic and I don't think you've converted one person to the pro-life lobby..
I'd kill (in a pro-life friendly way of course), to get this amount of attention!
BWAHAHA!! You thinking that was a real article is so much funnier than the article!
Did you actually say you are going to pray for her to suffer? You are an evil bastard. Just like many Christians, you aren't christian at all.
Did you even read the Bible? Because you sure didn't learn anything from it.
Good old Pete. Promiscuity is obviously OK within marriage for this bunch.
Keep on scraping the bottom of the brain barrel.
I can't decide which is sadder... that you took this seriously, or that your 'complete lack of a sense of humour' genetics is going to be passed on to your children, who likewise won't understand why they keep being sniggered at. Please - for the love of all that is good and sane in the world - don't procreate.
Thanks Pete, this will keep me amused for the next year or so.
Perhaps this post is evidence enough of your talents that Our Leader will appoint you to a position on the Supreme Court.
Oh! Thank Heaven for 7/12! Hmmm. Needs work.
I heartily second the comment above that you bookmark Fafblog and the good, gawdly Gin'rull J.C. Christian. I make the good Gin'rull part of my personal daily briefin'.
Here's another suggestion. How about you pickin' up where the person who ran Terri Schiavo's Blog left off? You've certainly got the brain activity of Miz Terri.
Now, let us all indulge our Inner Bill Murray lounge lizard singer:
Star Jones Wars.
Yeah, Star Jones Wars.
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Star Jones Wars, yeah, baby...
You have a right to an attorney.
Proof of evolution, your parents had a Monkey.
My entire office has this frikkin site up on their computers... GET BACK TO WORK YOU HALFWITS!!!
This is fucking hilarious. Pete, you definitely need to join forces with Kirk Cameron. He could give you a guest spot on his site.
