you're so hilarious! this is a satire site as well, right? don't worry, i'll keep it on the down low.
Really - you need to drop this. You're doing yourself no favors. You're soon going to alienate eveyone who actually agrees with you and just make the whole 'pro-life' movement look worse than it already does.
Hmmm....
Never mind.
There is no Caroline Weber.
The article, written by writers at the Onion, was a satire. The woman does not exist. The person who wrote it doesn't agree with the opnions expressed.
The point of the piece was that, contrary to the position of some pro-life people (you included, apparently), it is ridiculous to think that anybody likes abortion or wants women to have an abortions. That's why it's a satire.
People who support abortion rights are not, as you describe them, pro-abortion. They are pro-choice. They want women to be able to make that decision for themselves. You disagree. But do not mischaracterize their stance.
It makes you look kind of stupid.
Larry - kind of?
=ck
So this is your strategy? You're going to comb through the thousand or so comments your Onion-related posts generated and highlight the ones that contain profanity? Not a good approach, in my opinion. Swallow your pride and admit that you were a bit gullible. Have a laugh at yourself, and move on. As long as you keep trying to position yourself as the intellectual superior of your detractors, you're going to look silly and invite more mockery. You're just providing comic fodder for the anti-life movement.
what else is there to say.
oh shit, I just laughed my small intestines out!
Sir,
Before you start condeming the public school system and other people's level of education, I would suggest that you seriously review your own grammar.
if you had any friends, they would tell you to remove these posts.
however, since reading your two most recent blogs have given me a really, really, really (insert more reallys) good laugh i think you should leave them up and keep on sharing your thoughts.
but i'm not your friend.
=ck
You prove everything I've ever thought about fundamentalists - removed from reality - where the rest of us know that both the Onion and all of it's "authors" are fictional.
Please,go to a dark corner somewhere and wait for the rapture. Just leave the rest of us (the reality-based majority) alone.
I didn't think it was possible to make fundamentalist wackos look any more stupid or delusional, but this blog takes the cake!
Wow man, I can't believe you aren't hiding under your bed with a paper bag over your face. Do you know that hundreds of thousands of people have probably heard about this by now? That you even have your own Wikipedia article!
Just give it in. Delete the other two entries, make a post saying how stupid you were, then resign from life. Really. Go live with some birds in the Outer Hebrides or something. You aren't ever gonna be taken seriously on these internets again.
Well, don't let these lame commenters get you down. At least we did win something recently, even if it is in China. Expecting mothers are FINALLY given at least a 15 minute break to have their child.
http://www.theonion.com/content/...tent/node/
48743
The Onion is a humor magazine. This piece is funny specifically because it is so completely ridiculous that anybody would ever be psyched to have an abortion. Unfortunately, in your mind you have so thoroughly demonized your opponents at this point that you actually believe that pro-choice Americans are excited about getting an abortion.
I admire your willingness to fight for your cause, but please understand that many Americans simply disagree with you that life begins at conception. For me, the fact that an estimated 80% of fertilized eggs do not survive the term of the pregnancy (50% of them don't even manage to attach to the uterine wall and die within a week of fertilization) makes me wonder: what God would design a system where 80% of his People are never born?
Passing judgement on others.
You are obsessive. Get help. Really.
Therefore you must be a leftist pinko who doesn't believe in personal responsibility.
Seriously, though, you are the stupidest person on the internet.
I am one of these "brainwashed" children of which you speak. Rather than spout a "string of filth", I'll let Mr. Swift himself address you in my place.
"Satire is a glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own."
Pete, the "satire" (as you put it) was actually a satire (sans quotation marks). The reason you seem to be having trouble grasping this fact is because the piece is making fun of individuals such as yourself.
I disagree with everything for which you stand, but I beg of you out of concern for another human being: please please PLEASE stop posting. Anything. You're receiving regular traffic from swarms of liberals, conservatives, and everything in-between who view you as a fool.
You are harming your own cause.
Cheers!
I am one of these "brainwashed" children of which you speak. Rather than spout a "string of filth", I'll let Mr. Swift himself address you in my place.
"Satire is a glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own."
Pete, the "satire" (as you put it) was actually a satire (sans quotation marks). The reason you seem to be having trouble grasping this fact is because the piece is making fun of individuals such as yourself.
I disagree with everything for which you stand, but I beg of you out of concern for another human being: please please PLEASE stop posting. Anything. You're receiving regular traffic from swarms of liberals, conservatives, and everything in-between who view you as a fool.
You are harming your own cause.
Cheers!
Because it bears repeating!
(Pete puts fingers in his ears and goes :"LALALALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU".)
>what color is "stunned"?
Evidently, whatever education you had did not include the concepts of metaphor, idiom, etc. Kindly familiarize yourself with these (as well as satire, of course), before making any further posts on this subject.
Either that, or stop being a disingenuous asshat.
If this is a joke (and at this point I'm really, really hoping it is), then you are a genius. Way to COMMIT, man; you should consider trying to get onto the Onion staff!
If this isn't a joke, then...
I'm not sure how you came to the conclusion that hubris was the way to go here but when people on your side of the debate are expressing embarrassment over being associated with you, it's time to consider a change in strategy.
Just say, "Oops; that'll teach me to check my sources, ha-ha", then drop the subject and move on.
And even He thinks you blog is ridiculous.
I truly believe that The Reverand Fred Phelps, his wild-eyed CroneWife and yourself are at the vanguard of American Comedy. This has got to be some kind of Andy Kaufman-esque put= on. It's just got to.
'Color Me Stunned' really threw you for a loop, eh? How about this one:
'Life is like a box of chocklits...ya never know which one you're gonna git."
Pretty deep, yes?
damn man.........you're stupid. That all. Just mindnumbingly dumb. Couldnt figure out the Onion was satire. couldnt figure out that the woman (if she exists) was being sarcastic with you. Cant use a dictionary either. and cant admit you were wrong.
lemme guess you voted for Bush because he reminds you of yourself ?
You know that picture of the little boy to the right of your page? The one staring up at us with big pleading eyes? He's thinking about hitting you in the nuts for being so stupid. He told me. 
at least we have loads of time to create mirrors of his spectacular stupidity and false pride before it finally all sinks in and he deletes them! because seriously, these "blogs" as he calls them need to be preserved for all interwebternity.
Look, by the way that bitch was bitching, her kid probably would have voted democrat anyway.
It's probably just because babies are cute, hunh? I mean, an aborted baby hasn't even been absolved of original sin - according to the bible, that makes them less worthy in God's eyes than a hooker who just got out of confession!
Your posts are riddled with logical fallacies that completely invalidate your arguments.
Your anti-intellectual posts speak volumes as to why your are so confounded by metaphor, satire, and logic.
Perhaps being college educated is not such a bad thing, no?
Brian24 Wrote:
"The Onion is a humor magazine. This piece is funny specifically because it is so completely ridiculous that anybody would ever be psyched to have an abortion. Unfortunately, in your mind you have so thoroughly demonized your opponents at this point that you actually believe that pro-choice Americans are excited about getting an abortion."
And what YOU have (apparently seriously and unwittingly) done is written the 100% polar opposite of that Onion satire column. The masses are reading this and having the exact same thought you did: That NO ONE is so extreme as to publish such an opinion, so it must be satire or they must have some other mental issues.
Yet you did. And (apparently) you were serious. And you keep doing it. And the hole gets deeper (as all of your comrades-in-arms keep telling you in these comments).
That's just a good as anything else you've written, Pete. You're a gem.
You keep up the good work, my brutha. You just keep on keepin' on. You know what I'm sayin'?
lol
I'll say it again, and again without any of those nasty "cuss words":
Dumbest.
Blogger.
EVER.
Due --sarcasm is witty language used to convey insults or scorn
satire is when "the literal meaning is different from the true meaning".
guess you need to be educated to use a dictionary huh ?
Lets just consider this little episode as the Internets contribution to Pete's education. Clearly this is a case where the system has failed the lad.
Lesson 1. about not surrounding words in quotes where none are needed was covered in the first comment, so I'll jump to Lession 2.
Ok, Peter, buddy...Lession 2.
Look, you don't really want to try and associate reading the Onion with rude and nasty behavior. The Onion is one of the funniest papers around and it is read all over the country. Generally speaking it gives me a chuckle, it makes them laugh, it is... fun. I am being sympathetic to you, go read the Onion sometime, I mean for laughs, you know? Enjoy yourself a little. It's good stuff man. It has nothing to do with nastiness or rudeness. You need to read it, cause talking the way you are about really doesn't make any sense.
Lession 3.
The: ... in punctuation is called an ellipse. An ellipse is generally used to indicate an intention omission. For example: "I was reading this unbelievable website today...". It can be like saying "bla bla bla" or "yada yada yada". It can also be used as an intentional pause. The commentor you quote uses it to create a time delay in his final thought. We don't really have good temporal represenation in text, so the placement of the ellipse in "Color me stunned ... douchebag" is used to indicate a second of time, as if the person were really speaking to you. Another way of saying this would be "Color me stunned -beat- doughbag". So no he's not signing as doughbag, he is remarking to himself that you are a doughbag. Not that I agree. The pause coupled with the pajorative use of doughbag here is a way of communicating what he is saying to himself.
The definition on wikipedia is also pretty amusing for our discussion here: "Ellipses in linguistics refers to any omitted part of speech that is understood." This is called Irony.
Lession 4.
"what color is 'stunned'"
Sigh... ok Pete... we're doing a lot of talking about children so you should know this reference. The writer is refering to a famous childrens book about emotions: Color Me Happy
You can get a copy here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/produ...2337211-
2703634
It's really delightful. The book associates colors with different emotions to teach what the words mean:
"When I am sunny, colour me yellow. When I am funny, colour me pink."
So the commentor is making a funny reference to this book. As for my own personal opinion about what color stunned might see: http://www.onwijs.com/remcodek/s...s/
hypnodisk.jpg
So I hope this has been helpful. I think I speak for all when I say we are really enjoying your posts. Maybe not as intended, but that's ok.
I'm trying to be polite here, so bear with me.
First off, cut the quotes. The Onion is satire, not "satire". It's not real. The fact that college-educated people don't believe it is not a strike against higher education... because in this case, they are right.
I admit, the anonymous face of the internet makes it very easy for people to heap abuse and cursewords on others. Most of us manage to rise above this, regardless of our viewpoints on abortion. There. You've now met a courteous pro-choicer.
Which brings me to my last point. Stop calling us pro-abortion. We're not. It's even less valid than us refering to you guys as "anti-choice". Absolutely nobody is pro-abortion. I would be exceedingly happy if, starting tomorrow, there were no more abortions, ever, anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, I'm a realist. Outlawing abortion will not end abortion. It will just result in illegal, back-alley abortions. I'm sure that anyone who calls themself "pro-life" and actually means it won't be cheering as women bleed to death from botched coat-hanger surgeries- but that's exactly what will be happening if abortion is outlawed.
Abortion is simply a symptom of greater social problems. You can't treat a disease by just treating the symptoms- the disease will just get worse if you do. Do you really want to end abortion? Really? Then here's what you need to do:
- Eradicate poverty. The group with the highest incidence of abortion is the poor.
- Sponsor psychological counseling for teenagers- studies have revealed that depressed teens are more likely to engage in sexual behavior.
- Establish health care and social programs for everyone. People won't be as likely to seek an abortion if they know they won't go bankrupt raising a child.
- Sponsor real, effective sex education. There is strong evidence abstinence-only sex-ed doesn't work.
Of course these steps won't eliminate abortion completely, but they will significantly reduce it, and that's better than both mother and child dying in some back alley.
No, but if you ever do outlaw abortion, it'll be through packing the courts with nuts like Alito.
Notice I didn't say "end abortion". You'll never end it - only make it more dangerous for the people who feel they must have one.
Why don't you do something substantive about unwanted pregnancy and hand out a few rubbers?
My bad.
I love how you seem to be genetically incapable of getting a clue.
"The last person said "I don't know any college educated folks who don't know the site", which proves my point that our children are brainwashed in the public school system. "
Uhhh, you do realize that it's possible to attend private school your whole life and still attend a university.
Well, you probably don't understand, never mind...
You ruined all of your cedibility as a, heh, blogger with your (now famous) Onion post.
I can't say "writer".
You should start over. You're totally fucked. The kind of fucked that doesn't feel good, either.
Oooh, I like saying FUCKED. My filthy fingers love typing it all over your silly silly blog.
Your posts are a bit like babies. Unless you delete them, they stick around and fuck your life up forever.
Time to abort the mission, Pete. No pun intended.
-babykiller shasta, killin' babies since 1996
(can you see the satire?)
sometimes when the world is grey and I just want to end it all, a little ray of sunshine opens up and makes me choose life. Today is that day, only so that I can read more of your posts. Please keep it up! Otherwise I might self abort. In fact, I can feel Jesus in my heart commanding you to blog every day from here to eternity for me to have every opportunity to get saved. In this virtual village, you are my electronic idiot and I couldn't live without you.
Thanks!
Here's another post by the same genius. 
Ok....lets make it a little easier for him:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=...define%
3Asatire
Perhaps I'm asking too much....
Its fascinating to watch "righteous " conservatives use a fake magazine to demonize the pro choice movement.
Its even more fascinating that they refuse to admit that they were wrong and moronic .
Nice attitude.
anyway, let me know, i'm interested.
Uhhh...what does college have to do with the public school system there buddy? And you didn't answer my questions, which contained no profanity and no personal attacks.
Thanks for the Google link. I'm personally fond of this definition:
Satire. A manner of writing that mixes a critical attitude with wit and humor in an effort to improve mankind and human institutions. Ridicule, irony, exaggeration, and several other techniques are almost always present. The satirist may insert serious statements of value or desired behavior, but most often he relies on an implicit moral code, understood by his audience and paid lip service by them. The satirist's goal is to point out the hypocrisy of his target in the hope that either the target or the audience will return to a real following of the code. Thus, satire is inescapably moral even when no explicit values are promoted in the work, for the satirist works within the framework of a widely spread value system. Many of the techniques of satire are devices of comparison, to show the similarity or contrast between two things. A list of incongruous items, an oxymoron, metaphors, and so forth are examples. See "The Purpose and Method of Satire" for more information.
Go Petey Go!
The "public school" / "college educated" thing has me confused too. I assume that it's some kind of swipe at the public school system, but the exact argument is not clear to me. By the way, I have a college degree, and I attended private schools throughout my entire life. I know plenty of intelligent college-educated people who attended public school, however, and a fair number of them are pro-life. Bottom line: condemning huge numbers of people as "brainwashed" because of the type of school their parents chose for them as children is not going to win you any friends. Please, quit before you get yourself in more trouble.
Yes, it's all the fault of us foul-mouthed liberals. Us and our dirty words, with multiple postings.
It's not like we started a war based on a wish and a prayer, or recruited some skinheads who raped and killed a 14-year old Iraqi woman.
It's not like we practice discrimination based on what a voice from a cloud tells us.
It's not like we know our marriages will suddenly and mysteriously fail if we let gay people have equal rights.
It must because we don't go to the same once-weekly hourlong club, hunh?
Wow, after trying to sift through the 600 or so comments on your original, misguided (though obviously heartfelt) post on the Onion article, I started to feel sorry for you. Sympathy didn't last long though, after reading your most recents post on the "satire" of the Onion article and what your idea of "crazy" is.
"Crazy", in my eyes, is any person (especially any man) who thinks they can tell me what I can and cannot do to my own body. And before you start foaming at the mouth, please remember that it's pro-choice, not pro-abortion. I chose to have my baby when everyone around me was pressuring me to have an abortion. You see, choice goes both ways and if you want to see another side of "crazy", just you try to impose your morals on my body.
He may be right.
http://www.theonion.com/content/...tent/node/
48199
"It's also funny to me how pro-aborts claim such brilliance, yet struggle to say a sentence or two without cuss words."
It's because you're so fucking retarded.
Have you ever stopped to wonder yet Pete, just what it is about that "satirical article" that everyone else but you gets?
Spare yourelf the effort buddy b/c you won't and you never will, (why is it people like you are always the ones trying to tell everyone else around you what to do, when it's obvious yoy yourself don't have clue?
Well anyway, good luck blogging you're off to a BRILLIANT "start!"
PS I think the only people around here who are brainwashed are people like you. Stop for a second and try seeing the world through someone else's eyes, someone different than you. No Pete, I meant REALLY try...
"proves my point that our children are brainwashed in the public school system"
right on brother! down with the devil's booklearnin'!
Ya ain't come out of yer office yet?! I'm here to take you home.
"The last person said "I don't know any college educated folks who don't know the site", which proves my point that our children are brainwashed in the public school system."
Um, last I checked there were private colleges. Lots of em. For all you know that particular commenter went to Oral Roberts, Bob Jones, or BYU.
I am afraid your blogging career is essentially over. This blog will always be known as the blog that responded to an Onion article. Always.
Do you ever think about the motor/neurological damage in infants ALREADY BORN, caused by the lobby of Chemical Corporations?
You "pro" life people are not really pro -life, you are just pro-birth.
Get a life, ok? Work for the already born. They feel a whole lot more pain than clusters of cells.
"..& what color is "stunned"?"
You are so cute. Maybe you should take this gig on the road. I'll pay a buck O' five to see this in person.
Let me count the ways.
1) You interpret a blatant parody as solemn seriousness. This demonstrates you are desperate to believe the worst of your opponents - after all, they're all murderers, right? They must hate humans and want to kill everyone! What a warped worldview.
2) You write not one, but TWO posts in which you demonstrate quite clearly your utter inability to interpret satire. Though you have had this pointed out to you on, hmm last count shows 1100 occasions, you fail to understand the basic humour of the parody. It is funny because it is so insane. You are funny because you are so insane you think that people are actually like this.
3) "The last person said "I don't know any college educated folks who don't know the site", which proves my point that our children are brainwashed in the public school system." Non-sequitur. This is just stupid. Please get some education.
4) You are STILL demonstrating your inability to perceive this as the majority do. You are an extremist Pete. You do understand that, right? You are on the fringe. Most of society laughs at people like you, with pity, because your ignorance is so plain that all can see it, and your righteousness so foully strong that you are blind to your own ignorance.
Please, write another post about this whole Onion thing. Be sure not to say "oops, I'm a bit of a fool" because you might actually achieve a level of humility then. You know, humble? There was this fish-prophet who said humility was cool and stuff. I can't remember his name right now.. He had a big book, real popular for centuries.
Ah whatever.
*GOT* to be.
Aborted fetuses taste delicious, I wish they were sold legally in the US.
What's so amazing to me is that the main thing you got out of all the comments as that people used "cuss words" to refer to one of the stupidest acts performed by a human being in public in a really long time.
I assume that this is simply because you really have no good response to the content of the comments, so you sought to change the subject to the "cuss words," etc.
That, in a way, is actually fairly intelligent. One Machiavelli-type rule for demagoguery is:
When losing very badly in dealing with substantive issues, try to draw attention away from your failure towards some flaw, no matter how trivial and *irrelevant* to the issue.
Of course, it doesn't really work in a case like this, because talking about people's use of "cuss words" is not even in the same general universe as your own errors are, and, of course, it's dishonest.
It's one of those mote/beam things, and it's too obvious to be good ploy in a case like this. A debating trick is only a "good thing" (again, in a Machiavellian sense) if it doesn't contribute to the appearance that you are pathetic and hopeless.
Although I seem to be one of the few actually to point out the absolute and utter and perfect irrelevance of your response, I suspect nearly everyone noticed.
Keep up the good work.
You have embarrassed your parents, your siblings and your children for all time. You prove your opponents point by your very blog.
anti-abortionists are anti-american and should get the fuck out of my country
Could you unbrainwash the rest of us?
It's one thing to be ignorant and quite another to parade it around.
Apologize. Pull the blog down. Start over with another name. Better yet, read and don't write. You are seriously in need of more education. (The "edjamacated" thing -- not funny.)
I've had a good laugh like everyone else but now I'm starting to worry that you actually vote and drive a car and interact in the world. This level of stupidity is scary.
They don't use The Onion as a teaching aid or a textbook in public schools, not at the grade school level nor at the college one. However, it has become such a well-known site that few people who have undergone the general socialization that comes from most colleges- both public and private- have not at least heard of it. That does not mean that everyone approves or likes The Onion, it just means it has notoriety. Please do not confuse that as being some kind of deliberate taint the public school system has strived to leave its graduates with.
And please do not confuse your own ignorance with that of the people mocking you. So many seem to have been struck dumb by the sheer ridiculous of your position that the words needed to describe how we feel about your posts may not exist in the English language, hence the tendancy to do little besides remark on your stupidity.
And don't confuse the desire for a woman to be able to make a decision concerning her body with anyone being pro-abortion. To many minds, being forced to carry an unwanted pregancy to term and give birth is as horrifying to you as the concept of abortion is. I'd offer the old comparison "Would you want to be forced to undergo such a huge, scary experience like that", excpet being male you can say "of course I'd carry my child to term and devote my whole life to caring for it", free from ever being forced to do as well as your words by the simple fact that you lack the equipment to become pregant.
Personally, I couldn't ever go through with an abortion. But I fully support the right of women to have that choice to make for themselves, since I respect that others do not feel the same way as I- and I do not see the first-trimester procedures as wrong, or bad. There is a huge difference between a 2-month-old clot of cells that lacks a brain, limbs, or developed internal organs and a hyperactive five-year old being a pest. The comparisons you are making about murder do not take this into account.
I could go on, at length, but I think you are unlikely to bother to read the extent of my post, let alone make an attempt to think about whether or not my position might hold a spark of validity.
Here's another multiple poster, because you still haven't answered my question...
How many unwanted babies have you actually adopted, Pete? How many unwanted babies have any of your friends in the "march for life" adopted?
Because if the answer is "none", then all you're proposing is filling up the orphanages, expecting other people to do the job you're forcing them to do.
Ouch, must have been a real oh shit moment. I have to say I have sympathy for you after reading the comments ridiculing you.
I won't say it was an easy mistake to make, and perhaps if you didn't have an exaggerated idea of views which oppose you, it wouldn't have happened.
But no-one deserves that much flaming or humiliation. I'm impressed that you haven't turned off the commenting function.
No you have the wrong idea. I'm pro-life. But you are just a fucking douchebag.
You're a real idiot.
See, the reason that education and The Onion seem to go together is that educated people (i.e. those who understand basic grammar) are more likely to understand the meaning behind the words they read. An intelligent person (with only a mild to moderate persecution complex) might find an outrageous article on an Internet site and give it a moment's pause, upon which he/she would likely notice the context of OTHER ridiculous articles and "get it." For those who get it, The Onion can be quite entertaining.
Now, someone who doesn't get it, well... they'd be likely to fly off the handle and, if empowered by a really neato blog, make a complete and utter fool of themselves.
"Either way, I think I did a good job of turning the “satire” right back at them, don’t you?"
Evidently not.
Three strikes, you're out.
Wait you really asked "what color is stunned"? It's kind of a well-known phrase... to question it is ludicrous. Remember the band "Color me Badd"? Like that. Your viewpoints are normally respectable but here I'm surprised with the mistakes that you've made. For certain things you should just stop, accept the losses, and move on. Especially with things like The Onion and phrases like "color me ______". Those are not-so-recent well-known references, if you don't know about them that's fine but it hurts your credibility if you comment on them. It's unfortunate but true; look at the comments. People who normally would have taken your pro-life stances seriously no longer will because of those comments. Yes it's stupid but that's how it is so you should learn to deal with it if you are trying to convince people of something.
It's fascinating to watch "enlightened" liberals JUMP to beat down someone who made a mistake. Nice attitudes and nice language. The fact that some have posted multiple times is even more telling.
Josh | 07.11.06 - 9:28 pm | #
He made a mistake, that is true. But then he tried to pretend like he knew The Onion was satire the whole time, and dug himself in a hole.
Finally, he came out with another post in which he again didn't ackowledge making a mistake, but instead decided to focus on a couple rude comments.
That he posted multiple times without acknowledging a mistake and you know, adhering to all that conservative stuff about claiming personal responsibility is even MORE telling.
ahem.... Ban The Stupid From The Internet!!!
The person who writes this blog is clearly missing a rather large and obvious point. Please refrain from reproducing and do the human race a favor.
For more info, please see repetitive related previous posts...
Seriously, this is getting old!
To all the elite liberal biased homos trying to tear down those who support life here, God doesn't support you and neither does America, who you hate along with Bush (you have mental illness) and freedom. Got get a clue, morans!
Someone said he had a Wikipedia article. Well, I found a mention in the Onion article, but didn't find his own article. Can someone help?
Mnemosyne, if Pete here had even had an "oh shit" moment, he certainly hasn't posted it here. In fact, he's pretty much insinuated that everyone who has tried to inform him that he was mistaken in his idea that it was a serious article is just evil. And he's posted three posts to that effect.
He's right, and about a million other people are wrong.
No sympathy for anyone who is so completely obsessive in his need to be right above all else--even on a subject on which he's so obviously WRONG. It's no longer a mistake--it's a delusion.
If he can't even admit he made a mistake about The Onion without ridiculing those who pointed it out (even nicely), he's irredeemable.
Pete, colleges are often private. Why some even have a Christian focus!
Also, I would like to help you with your sarcasm problem. A typical strategy is to flip an expected subject with an unexpected one. For instance "color me stunned." You're correct: you don't know what color that is. Advanced neuro-expertologists call that moment when one's conciousness is liberated from the brain's rational centers "a funny." The tingling sensation means it's working.
Liberals ARE evil. All of you. I hope your buddies in Al Kuyaida kill you with a dirty bomb.
Pete - the Onion piece is complete satire. It is FAKE. Everybody seems to know this but you...Maybe it's the "brainwashing" we got in the schools.
Obviously you haven't been through much schooling, or you'd write a bit better. I must admit that "putting" random "words" like "satire" in quotes is amusing, though.
Stop being a dumbass - the only people you're going to convince are those that are either batshit insane or mind-numbingly stupid.
It's annoying to me that most pro-lifers are the only ones who probably should have been aborted to begin with.
Keep on keeping yer freedoms on this blogging site, Pete. Yer making ol'Chimpy proud of his fellow Amurikkkans.
Stop being a dumbass - the only people you're going to convince are those that are either batshit insane or mind-numbingly stupid.
PhoenixFlare | 07.11.06 - 10:41 pm | #
--
Its you LIBERALS who are dumbass, who hate freedom and our president, with your bias toward evil and the Supreme Court.
Hi Pete,
I have no name. I live nowhere. Not even heaven. I'm an aborted child. My mom didn't want me. I can't tell you how I'm able to type this reply with my undeveloped little finger nubs, but that's not why I'm here.
I'm here to tell you that I'm glad I'm not in this world. I watch. I know. Shit man, it's crazy out there. Scat porn. Kids shootin' kids. Meth addicted cops raping people. The students at Duke University. That George Bush guy. People who write terrible terrible blogs on the internet.
Did I mention pollution, stupid people, and poverty???
I'm happy to be aborted. I'm one of the cool kids.
If it walks like a duck
and talks like a duck
then it must be a duck.
or in some cases, and I won't name names here, but...
If it comprehends like a nitwit
and it posts like a nitwit
then it must be a nitwit.
Catch my drift?
Hal - yeah, whatever. I know plenty of diehard neocon Republicans that wouldn't fall for something as obviously satire as that Onion article.
Keep fighting the good fight, it keeps the rest of us entertained.
Yes, as a liberal, I completely hate freedom because freedom is what allows us to enjoy abortions!
We also eat children raw after smoking marijuana. Thats what goes behind the scenes in the DNC. Y'all should try it.
I am now close to totally convinced that March Together for Life is, in itself, a satirical site. This guy is undoing any possible good the pro-life movement could be doing. Very, very clever.
I don't know if you've read the Onion before, but it is a satirical paper. If you read it often enough, you will realize this.
I am just trying to be helpful.
sir, you are painfully stupid. it would probably be in your best interests to stop adressing the fact that you mistook a satirical publication for news. it's hard to understand how you made this mistake, what with the headline "Gaywads, Dorkwads Sign Historic Wad Accord," and all. also, you keep addressing caroline weber, saying she wrote this article. this is not true. she is a completely fictional (make believe) author.
surely, the anti-abortion movement has better champions than you. in the future it may be best to have one of them proofread your work.
p.s. "color me stunned" is a correct use of the term "color." the ellipsis ("...") denotes dramatic pause and does not function like a comma. do you read?
Heartland Hal I 'preciate yer dedicashun to the conservative movement. Wanna f*ck some sheep?
Then we are supposed to believe that you didn't realize that this guy was calling YOU a douchbag after a beief pause as illustrated by the ellipses.
And on top of that, you don't know what satire is or the Onion?
This has to be a colossally funny joke. Really. Kudos to whomever put it on.
Please, no more blogging! I sat at my desk all day and had to claim vacation leave because I did nothing but read, snort and wipe my eyes. I love fanatics (just don't leave the house)!
I really do feel bad for you about the flaming, Pete.
You probably should have just retracted your statements instead of trying to justify them once you found out what the Onion was. To most of the people here your mistake would be like believing something you read in the tabloids. The flaming is unfortunate, but it's the internet and that's how things go.
I'm pro-choice, btw, but at this point I don't think I'm here to debate about that.
Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?
GI JOE SAYS 'ABORTIONS ARE A-OK WITH ME'
I just can't comment without using profanity. This is just too much to politely address.
You stupid cockmaster, what the hell is wrong with you? Why on Earth are you digging yourself deeper into a hole? Watch this marvel of typing, you could have used this to get out of your situation:
"Oops, didn't realize that was THAT The Onion!"
So easy. Done and done. You would have taken ribbing, but at least you'd only have 600+ comments instead of 1200+.
You've truly brought your pro-life issue into the spotlight - unfortunately you've set it back at least 100 internet-years. Now everyone that get entertainment from the internet will know you, know your issue, and know how badly you fucked all of it up.
You are what is wrong with this country (the US, that is, as thankfully the internet is worldwide - as is your asshtattery). A bunch of fascist control freaks, jumping to conclusions, and coming up with ridiculous excuses.
In your case, you seek to control women. As others have pointed out, the already-born (of any age) have a much harder time than a bundle of cells ever could. You want to control women, because none of you pro-life extremists (the moderates are fine) give two shits about the kid after it gets popped out. You couldn't give a shit.
In fact, I bet if you ever get a girlfriend after this delightful demonstration of your gullibility, you'll end up beating her. You want to control women, right? Want to control what goes on with them, inside of them, and around them? Sure you do, you're a pro-life extremist. So you'll end up beating the girl.
But no, you won't just up and do it. It'll start out peachy, things will go alright, but you'll be nervous and scared. And a few months in, when you can't hold in that awkwardness anymore, it'll be POW. And you'll keep doing it and doing it, because the mindset of someone that beats their girl is just like the mindset of a pro-life fringe lunatic like yourself.
Anyway. What is really great about this whole situation is that you've managed to set back the online pro-life movement. You've made a complete fucking ass of yourself, alienated like-minded folks, and embarrassed every halfway intelligent human being.
Say what you will about the people commenting, it doesn't matter - the only genuinely uneducated person here is you.
You fucking fuck.
Taco Bell Launches New 'Morning After' Burrito
March 12, 1997 | Issue 31•09
PURCHASE, NY—Hot on the heels of last week's FDA approval, on Monday PepsiCo subsidiary Taco Bell launched its controversial "morning after" burrito, a zesty, Mexican-style entree that prevents unwanted pregnancies if ingested within 36 hours following intercourse.
Developed by a team of top Taco Bell gynecologists, the $1.99 "ContraceptiMelt" burrito creates an inhospitable environment within the womb, causing fertilized ovum tissue to be flushed from the body.
Also available are ContraceptiMelt Supremes, featuring sour cream and extra cheese.
Taco Bell officials are excited about the offering. "In the past, before Roe v. Wade, young women literally had to 'make a run for the border' to terminate an unwanted pregnancy," Taco Bell public relations director Grant Lesko said. "But now, women can make that same run for the border at over 7,300 convenient locations right in their own hometowns."
Its over.
March Together for Life will forever be known as "the blog run by the guy who fell for an Onion article." That will be your major contribution to the pro-life movement. Congratulations.
Dan
Really, this is great. Please keep blogging.
Pete. Just give it up. You lost. You know that just as much as us "pro-abort" ignunts.
"...which proves my point that our children are brainwashed in the public school system."
What, because we like a little humor? Because we don't weep and pray for aborted parasites? I'm sure you're a fairly decent fellow, Pete. You're just lacking in the common sense department.
I'm not attacking you, Pete. I've also not said a single profane word. Can you fabricate a reason to dislike me, Pete?
You should probably just forget about this whole thing. Stop bringing it up, and people will stop thinking that you're completely off your rocker.
Also, you're famous, fucker:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
Mar...gether_For_Life
I feel so honored. My God. Out of 900 and some odd comments trying to talk common sense, and Pete responds to little old mine?!? I'm happy I used the cuss words now to stand out. Absolutely remarkable.
First, a grammatical lesson. Since I've already provided a name (which the Blog software uses to identify date and time of response), I would not need to double-identify myself. Those periods? They are called ellipses, idiot. In common English they are a grammatical convention used to denote missing text; alternatively, they're a literary convention used as a pausing measure (sorta like a Caesura, but for prose).
So, in this case, they are used to express my sense of disbelief ... before calling you a "douchebag." So, the "... douchebag" was aimed at you, douchebag of douchebags. Using the phrase "color me ... " anything is also a literary convention. Man, are you serious? It's so amusing having to explain this.
Clearly, this site - and by that I mean this foolish, Pro-Life Site - must be a joke. Also, where did I mention I was "Pro-Abort" (whatever that means anyway)? I don't see anything in my comments. So, let me get this point straight: Pete is saying that people who point out how utterly idiotic he is are "Pro-Abort?"
If that were the case, I think the legions of folks would be such that Roe v. Wade would never be under threat. Translation for the duller amongst us (e.g. Blog's author): alot of people think you are an idiot, and no, that it not tantamount to everyone being a "Pro-Abort" (ref: http://dictionary.reference.com/...wse/tantamount)
which would be a Non Sequitur (ref: http://dictionary.reference.com/...non%20sequitur)
.
Man, you really are an utter embarrassment.
Oh, and the final assessment of "The Onion": http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/
The...taken_seriously
Funny thing is I don't think even a Wikipedia entry will matter to Pete. I hear the Wikipedia servers run on ground up aborted fetus parts, ergo the pages must be full of lies.
Just what I heard, so it must be true, righty Petey? What a douchebag (that would be you, All-Star).
Pete Pete the pro-life kook,
the more we read the more we hoot!
You sir, the best thing to happen to your movement.
This will be the most popular example of pro-life people.
Too bad, because some of them are smart people.
The people who value choice and personal responsibility will win.
If you win your fight, I'll let you know when and where you can pick up the baby I don't want.
I am so jealous! I've been dying to get people to flock to my blog the way they have to yours.
I gotta start being stupider.
How do you do it, Pete? What's your secret? Do you deprive yourself of oxygen? Do you regularly hit yourself on your head with heavy objects? Whatever it is, keep it up, man.
You are hilarious.
But hey, at least you provide us with quality entertainment. Go you!
*ring ring*
Pete: Hello?
Monthly Call for Life: Is this Pete?
Pete: Yes, who is this?
Monthly Call for Life: Not important. *snicker* Listen, I've been meaning to tell you something.
Pete: Yes?
Monthly Call for Life: YOU EAT DOODY AND BABIES FOR BREAKFAST *snicker* AND YOU WRITE REALLY NOT VERY GOOD HA HA HA
*click*
Pete:
At least be honest:
You don't want to save babies, you want to control others.
Worse still, you base it on your personal mythology that not everyone subscribes to.
Why am I bothering?
Pete, you're a walking, talking, blogging cliche.
Close to 1,200 comments on your two other posts on this subject, running about 1,195 to 5 against you, and you're still at it. If you're representative of the brains behind the anti-choice forces, then I expect those of us on the opposite side need not worry.
Oh and . . . douchebag!
I understand your mistake and feel deeply for the cause you support, Pete. The people who leave nasty comments are the kind of immoral and God hating people who would murder beautiful children just so they can have "careers" and "lives". What kind of lives do they want when children are our future? If those slut women keep crying about wanting lives and kill their babies, who's gonna serve me my freedom fries and extra large Coke 18yrs from now?
I am a God Warrior. GARGOYLES ARE AMONG US!
No matter how many times you post something in response to your original Caroline Weber blog post, or to the personal attacks you have received, one thing will always be as clear as day:
You are a fucking dumbass.
For your information a douche is a spermacidal liquid that women use after sex to prevent conception, now go write another hilarious post, I'm eating this up.
You're really making the other pro-lifers look bad... did you even see some of the other article titles the Onion publishes? go to the site at www.theonion.com, "U.S. protests Mexi-Canadian Overapss", "Life Jackets Issued to All Americans." Umm...yea, very REAL news there.
Seriously, just stop before someone Darwins you. And over 1,000+ comments & you're nitpicking at one or two. Geez!
You're really making the other pro-lifers look bad... did you even see some of the other article titles the Onion publishes? go to the site at www.theonion.com, "U.S. protests Mexi-Canadian Overapss", "Life Jackets Issued to All Americans." Umm...yea, very REAL news there.
Seriously, just stop before someone Darwins you. And over 1,000+ comments & you're nitpicking at one or two. Geez!
Uhhh. Petey?
I went to both private school and private university.
You are obviously somewhat impaired when it comes to reason and logic and writing just ain't your thing bud. Might as well quit now and avoid future ridicule.
At this point the entire english speaking internet is laughing AT you.
You even made it to fark.com, a real achievement given that it is the number one links site in the world.
you're killing me!!!!! lolololol -- you just soooooo don't get it---dude stop the madness!!!! I really feel for you--NOT-- I can guarantee though you will be asked on one of the big comedy sor talk hows--this will not go unnoticed--have fun!!!
I know this has been said but how does he put "satire" in quotes----lolololol---how fucking dumb can you get!!! oh yeah I am only out there to fuck up pro-lifers with logic--huh?
ejumacated--dork--you so do not have a grasp on the reality of the situation -- is Caroline Weber still talking to you? gees I am so glad you get to tell me about my body-FU
Pete, you are the very reason I abandoned a belief in god (yes, uncapitalized) so long ago. Look what it did to your brain! To reiterate what many people have told you: The article is FAKE. It was written as a joke. Are you familiar with the concept of a joke? Or do you think that all those blonde jokes you hear at the office are actual anecdotes, you drooling simp? Do the world a favor and read a book besides the Bible.
I just want to thank the author of this blog for providing entertainment throughout this little saga..
This has GOT to be a joke. I mean, no one can possibly be this clueless.
...right?
Rest assured, Carol Weber *is* real, and I know because that is who I am. Don't let the Onion pass of this conscienceless murder of my child under the false guise of satire.
Forget Wikipedia, now you're REALLY famous:
http://
www.encyclopediadramatica...gether_For_Life
It is true, these Satanic liberals cannot seem to get more than a few words out without uttering profanity. They are so caught up in their "effs" and their "something-holes" that they don't see what really happened here. Abortion doctors are using "satire" to conceal their horrible crimes against humanity.
Pete and Hal are the only real men here. The rest of you are just a bunch of God-hating Sodomites. You know, it's because of people like you that God created IEDs and Fred Phelps, to spread His word on Earth.
http://www.godhatessatire.com
lololololo---yes indeed "satire"----you have to be freakin' based on my seeing all the organisations you work with on this issue---time for a new approach?---maybe you need a time out to see that you might not be RIGHT-P.S. are you using your own kid as the poster child for this movement?--that is child abuse in my mind--your kid has no choice and can tug on your leg--kid is different from fetus
You are an embarrassment to Peters everywhere ... douchenozzle.
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh . . . oops? Are you ready to admit defeat?
Don't you think that God wants us to be this stupid? I certainly do. After all, college educations apparently lead to sins like profanity and awareness of the concept of "satire," which is apparently a fancy word for ripping a child out of a woman's womb.
If understanding "satire" is intelligence, then count me out. Righteous, dumb, and blond -- that's the *real* Carol Weber, not the twisted, tortured soul I was forced to impersonate at the hands of the cruel editorial staff of The Onion.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satire
"Satire is a literary technique of writing or art which exposes the follies of its subject"?!?!? WRONG!
Actually, satire is a medical technique of cutting or suctioning which exposes the fetus to death. That's what satire really is. I can't believe all these people who claim to be "college educated" don't know the real meaning of that word. I guess they must have gone to the National Institute of Swears or something, judging by their horrible language.
Just wait until somebody satires your baby... golly-darn liberals!!!!!!!
Let me tell you something Pete my man. The lord broke the mold when he made good old Pete. You are a rock Pete. Play on playa. No one can touch you PETE. Remember what R-Kelly sang. "I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky." Well thats you Pete. You can fly. You're the Phenom. The man of the century.
As long as you stick to your guns. Don't listen to any of this cotton picken stinking mess.
Pete I feel like I've known you all my life. Do you know Cathy May? She live in a run down shack on Old Hull road. Next to where the big old Oak tree that paw paw and Maxine cut down for firewood last winter. Bah anyway Pete it doesn't matter. I know you Pete.
I've known you all my life. You're my brother Pete. My relection if you will. I am you and you are me. We are two and two are one. We're like the reverse of splitting the atom Pete. If they even really split the atom. They tell us anything and expect us to beleive it right Pete? Yea right evolution. Creationism 4 Life foo!
Killing dem babies in dead wrong Pete and these left wing liberal hippy pot smoking crack dealing lefties don't understand. This is pure dee satan's work. "Go tell it on the mount-tain. Over the hills and Every" sing it with me PETE. "where. Goooo tell it on the mountain that Jesus Christ is born".
That song reminds me of Mary and Joseph. What if Mary had gotten a divorce PETE!?! I mean an abortion...whatever they are both sins against GAWD!!! Where would we be today? What is Mary had aborted little baby Jesus. OOOOHHHHH Pete I can't stand the thought of it. We would have been ...... focus Pete. We would have been without the Lord Jesus and man would have never been forgiven for our sins. And that Pete my man would have sucked.
Anyway Pete. I've gotta run. Anytime you want to get together and kick back a few beers just let me know Petey boy. I've got your back! We can get drunk and dig up those guns you have buried in your backyard for "When the shit goes down". Cause you know what Pete. I think the shit is going down now!
And to top that off, you pull one off-handed comment about college (which is not the public school system by the way), which merely served to point out that The Onion is popular with young people, and make that into a blanket statement. Ridiculous.
Today alone, he has nearly 89,000 visitors.
See how easy it is to be a traffic whore? And with more than 93,000 visitors in the past week, not a single abortion was prevented by his efforts.
Satire begat satire.
And btw, those who claim 'no one' is pro-abortion, please don't speak for me. I'm not just pro-choice, I'm pro abortion. I think they are one of the necessities of human civilizations that have always existed and will continue to exist, despite every effort to outlaw the practice.
Looking past the fact that you use a fake source like The Onion, you make the least convincing arguments I've ever heard.
With every post you make, you look less convincing than you did with the one before. My advice: STOP POSTING!
If you want to protest abortions, then go and protest abortions. However, you are making the entire pro-life movement look bad because of your blog. It now has worldwide recognition, but not because people support you, because they think you're an idiot. Sure, you're good for a laugh, but if you want pro-lifers to be taken seriously, shut up for a while. Delete your blog and try to pretend it never happened. All you're doing is digging yourself a deeper hole.
Hey,
I like your style. You should come and be an editor on my Wikipedia! We could use a few good men like you.
-Jimbo
hey dude---we are all marching together in here for life--you just seem to think your way is the only way--fuck you--get out of that little town and see some of the world--i can guarantee you will see things in a whole new light
One thing to point out, though: I think you meant "College Educated" in your subject line to this, not "College Edamucated." The latter is not a real word. My anti-life buddy here says that you were engaging in a bit of satire yourself by intentionally mispelling the word, but I just don't believe it! I know you are far too good of a person to ever take the life of a human being just for a joke, like those Satinist Satirsts at The Onion.
P.S. ohman asks, "Are you completely retarded???" Why do you ask, ohman? I'll bet an evil liberal like you would have me aborted if I was actually retarded! Ever seen Gattaca? You sick freak...
You thrive on personal attacks as well, my friend. Man up and stop crying. Move along and condemn some more baby-kiillers. I'm sure God apperciates the help. I mean come on, it's not like he's been handling the world on his own since creation. He needs all the help he can get.
You know, I saw a fascinating interview last night on "Countdown" on MSNBC. It was with John Dean, who used to be President Nixon's lawyer but has now written a book about what's happened to the conservative movement.
He says that about 23% of the population is "authoritarian" - not "conservative" in the traditional sense of the term, but interested primarily in exerting control over others, and in marching in lockstep with those who want to exert that control.
It's OK, Pete - there are a lot of complicated ideas in this post. I don't expect you to get them. Just know that when that "I'm part of the 23 Percent" T-shirt arrives in the mail next week (I addressed it to your mom's basement - you ARE still living down there, right, Pete?), that it's meant for you. Feel free to wear it during your next monthly march.
I am not "marching together" with anyone who would use that horrible language! You even used an "eff"! Do you have any idea how many baby angels die every time you say that word? Actually, you probably do. You probably wish that a thousand fetuses would die every time you dropped an "eff." Shame on you, meow.
And for the record, Pete's way *is* the only way, or at least the only way to salvation. You liberals will all burn in Heck, along with all the baby angels you killed with your effs and your something-somethings and all those other swears!
In fact, I just called my pastor, and he told me that s*tire is also a swear! Can you believe it? Pete, be careful, these liberals tricked you into a sin, saying a word that is against God.
Anyway, I have to sign off now and repent for typing that hateful word s*tire so many times. I hope God will forgive me...
Color me _________ is a pretty dated expression that I'd expect most people have heard. You don't actually fill in the blank with a color. In case you didn't know. Though I'm sure it was just another poor attempt at humor.
Now it all makes sense.
How many unwanted babies have you actually adopted, Pete? How many unwanted babies have any of your friends in the "march for life" adopted?
Because if the answer is "none", then all you're proposing is filling up the orphanages, expecting other people to do the job you're forcing them to do.
"You don't see a lot of these white, anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? No. You don't see t